By Alessandro Carosi
Everything started 7 years ago when i met this girl and still now i can’t understand if what i feel for her is cause her gorgeous beauty,elegance,manners or we are connected in some way,some girls i met in the past i could easily feel there was a connection,that feeling of already know each other,that feeling of comfortableness,something i never had with this girl that changed me,then,why i can’t forget about her,why every now on she is back in my mind and i can’t stop thinking about her,i feel like there is some sort of connection,a different connection then what normally we feel for a soulmate,maybe the connection comes from our past lives like a psychic told me a day that out of curiosity after reading ” Many lives,many Masters” of Brian Weiss i decided to go and check which kind of past lives i had.
During the session some interesting things came out even if,i have to be honest he didn’t really impress me,at least not in the way i would expect,one of those things was about this girl that played an important part in my personal grow,the girl i can’t forget,the girl i wish to be with one day.
It was a 2 hours session where he hypnotised me and asked me what i would see or what would be the first thought to come in my mind,one of the first things was about my father,a thought that shocked me,it came without reason,it came in my mind in a way that i could not control,i didn’t think about my father that died when i was 10 since more then 6 years so how come that thought came out,there was no connection with what he was asking me and no reason to think about him,we talked about our relationship and then moved on with the past lives regression,how is called this kind of sessions.
The next thought came out with no apparently reason as well,it was about a girl dancing in a meadow,when he asked me who she was,straight away my mind associated this girl dancing with an other girl i know,the girl that changed my life,she is Korean and she is a ballet teacher,i met her in New Zealand,its hard to explain how those image came in my mind,we can give it any kind of explanation but is interesting thinking why between many thoughts i could have,i had those,when the psychic asked me if i could see something else the next image was about the same girl lying on the floor in a house that resemble the ones from maybe the 18th century,she was lying there and a guy was hitting her with a belt and punching her,slowly i identify him as myself,at session finished the psychic told me that the reason why i have this connection with this girl is for karmic reason,what is going on with her now is connected from our past lives and now maybe is my time to suffer for what i did to her,trust me i do suffer,when i think about her i feel like she is exactly what i want in a girl,the problem? it wasn’t what i wanted when i met her years ago,the strange thing is,as soon i left her after few months i began to fell like i lost something important,something amazing,i began to fell i missed one of the most important thing in my life,i can’t explain properly because it is all at feelings level.
The way i met her was already like we supposed to meet,everything started in New Zealand,even this country played a key role in my grow and spiritual development and maybe is the reason why i met her over there.
In that period of my life where i was really confuse i decided to take a break from my ex-girlfriend to trying to figure out what i wanted,i wasn’t looking for relationship and all i wanted was fun,I met this Korean girl 7 months after arrived to New Zealand,i remember seeing her from my balcony a morning i was off from work,she was walking on the street and between all the girls walking she was the only one to get my attention even if i couldn’t see her face properly cause she was wearing sunglasses,i remember thinking,she must to be Korean,even if i had no clue if she would be,i was going to go outside and talk to her but then i thought,time i would get to the main gate and outside probably she would be far away so i didn’t go.
In the next month and half i kept seeing her every where but i didn’t have the chance to talk to her,there was never the right timing,sometime i had to go to work,sometime she was on the bus,sometime i was on the bus and she was walking on the street,at finally one day i got my chance,i was working and for some reason i turned to look behind me,she was there sitting on a bench with a old woman i thought was her mother,i run inside the cafe,i got a free coffee card and gave it to her saying she deserved it cause she was so beautiful,she smiled and left,after few minutes i realised i didn’t write my number on the card,damn it,how she could contact me,maybe she would never come back to the cafe,maybe i would never seeing her again,oh well,i thought,who cares,i will try with an other girl.
A week later after finish work i decided to take a different route to go back home,normally i would go back walking on the main street,for some reason i took a parallel that i never took before,when i reached one of the cross at the same time this Korean girl was coming from the other side,i was really happy to see her,i let her come to my side of the road and i stopped her asking if she remembered me,she did remember,i gave her my number and in the evening she send me a msg,that was great i thought she must to be interested about me as well.
Few days later we met,we had a coffee and then we spend a nice afternoon at the park,i told her the entire story about me trying to meet her and how at finally we met,she was surprised and in the evening she send me a msg saying,i believe we were meant to meet,i didn’t care much about what she said at the time,but now i know we were meant to meet.
She fall in love with me straight away,i didn’t treat her nice,all i wanted was sex,all she wanted was love,after 2 months she tried everything to make me like her she realised there was no chance and when her tourist visa expired she left and went back to South Korea,she wanted meet me last time the day before leave,it was raining,she was looking amazing,i started to feel that something wasn’t right with me,i remember tell her,its raining because the sky is crying because you leaving.
After she left slowly something began to grow inside of me,a feeling of sadness like i missed an amazing chance,with the months passed by the sadness grew bigger and bigger until i had the certainty i lost something really important.
Everyday i missed her and wanted to meet her,i decided that in april’s holiday i would go to see her,the universe played some strange game,my mother broke her leg few months before April,i had to go back to Italy to see her but for a week the hospital wouldn’t allowed me to visit her for more then 1 hour,it wasn’t a serious injury so i took a week holiday before to go,it was my chance to go to see the girl in Seoul but i don’t know why,i really don’t know why but i went to Thailand,when i had to decide if going to South Korea i had this strong feeling that i didn’t have to go,i don’t know why,i felt compelled to don’t go.
I went to to Thailand then to Italy to see my mum and after 1 month after she recovered i went back to New Zealand,time passed by until i came to London,i tried my best to forget about her,in London i wanted restart a new life,at finally i was strong enough to let her go until one day talking to a customer about girls being important for me and mentioned this Korean girl,this customer told me i had to contact her again,i did it and since when i did it i had this strong feeling like we were in contact spiritually again,i restarted to think about her everyday,i missed her in the morning and i missed her at night,what it was worst was that i didn’t know this girl really well,then why i missed her so much? why i want to be with her so much? sometime i could fell her presence in my room,there was moments i wouldn’t think about her but as soon i would have even a single thought it would be like i turn on a button and the feeling of connection came strong again.
At finally after few years struggling i began to forget her,i began to cut off our connection,i was restarting being happy,but something strange happened when in holiday in Dubai visiting my brother,i was in a shopping mall with him and my mother,that day from morning i was thinking about her so much and i couldn’t get her off my mind,my family and me were looking at a souvenir shop where a guy was able to create pictures using some tools on the sand that was inside bottles,it was really nice,i enjoyed seeing him create those artworks,all of sudden my eyes dropped to a bottle where he wrote,Alex love Julie,Julie is the English name of this Korean girl,i thought what a strange coincidence but the universe wanted make sure that i would understand that was a message for me because just behind that bottle there was an other one with Korean symbols,ok,it wasn’t a coincidence,that was for me,but why????
I moved on,i forced myself to stop thinking about her,i had a great holiday where i met some amazing people and went back to London where i got lucky and i met a really lovely girl,we got together and we had such a great time,she made me really happy,we went hiking together,we went travelling together,i had such a peace of mind,such a mental calmness i didn’t have for long time.
For my next holiday i went back to Italy to visit my mum,i was having a good time until one day again i couldn’t stop thinking about Julie all day,i had a thought about her in the morning,is it possible it was enough to connect us again? what i know is,i was on facebook in the afternoon,normally i would avoid to look at any pics of Julie so i would not miss her but that day i pressed to one of her pics without control,she was so beautiful,so elegant,even on pics she look like an angel,i couldn’t resist,i send her a msg on Kakao talk the Korean version of whatsapp,i wrote if she was ok cause was long time we didn’t contact each other,for my big surprise she was in holiday in Switzerland and she had just got back after few days in Rome,when she was in Rome i was in my hometown that is only 3 hours by train,i couldn’t believe it i missed the chance to see her in Italy,i needed to see her again,i told her i would take a train and go to Switzerland but she would leave the day after for France,what to do,doing something crazy,buy a airplane ticket from Rome and go to meet her for 2 days,i calmed down and realise that it was stupid,i would spend so much money to meet someone after 6 years for which reason,we aren’t going to be together,i didn’t go,i had to stop thinking about her.
I went back to London and all of sudden i started to dream about Julie,dreams where she told me how much she loved me,why??? I was happy with my girlfriend,why she came back in my life,how come our connection got back,i felt like i had to go,this time i had to go to meet her,i quit my job and i went to South Korea for 1 week and i would spend the rest of the month in Thailand to visit my best friend.
I was really nervous to meet her again,i didn’t know how i could react,when i arrived at the airport she was waiting for me,when i seen her,omg!!!!! how much beautiful she was,she looked taller,she looked like her presence was magical like being in the presence of an Angel,in that week i told her everything i felt about her,i gave her a gift i wanted give her from long time and i tried my best to don’t think i had the chance to be with her but i missed it
In Thailand when i went to visit my friend i tried to don’t think about her until one day she send me a msg saying how much important i’m for her life,what to do,in the meantime my Thai friend wanted to open a coffee shop in Bangkok with me,it was a sign that step by step i would go back to her? it was an other opportunity? i don’t know,i refused my friend offer at the time,i will never know,i will never know if the opportunity was to go just to live in Thailand like i wanted long time ago or an opportunity to get me closer to her,it doesn’t matter cause i made a choice and i need to move on and looking forward to new opportunity that i know will come along.
Here comes the thing,if i didn’t miss that chance,if was a chance cause we don’t know,i wouldn’t get so sad and depressed,if i didn’t go trough a such hard time i would’t stop thinking about what i wanted to do with my life,all the months spent trying to figure out what i was doing with my life brought me to the conclusion that something had to change,i couldn’t keep going with my old life,i needed to change,i needed to become a better person,how i could go trough this amazing change i’m so proud now if didn’t break my heart the fact i missed the chance to be with such an amazing girl,its hard to accept but in the kind of reality we live we can’t grow spiritually if we don’t go trough some sort of pain and sadness,i miss her and i wish i could be with her but i needed to learn that when you make a choice in life you need to go for it without look back,otherwise we going to miss the others amazing opportunity that life always offer you.