Reflections about life

By Alessandro Carosi

The journey is over ,2 months flied away like a breath ,have been a wonderful experience where I met amazing people ,I learned something from each one of them ,they all inspired me in some way ,I came to do researches for a future business and at the same time to have a break from the routine I got caught in London and to think ,think about life ,about me ,the time I lived in the illusion of life is over so now I found myself struggling living  in the way everyone does ,feeling and knowing that there is much more then born ,study ,go to work ,make a family ,retirement and die ,there is more then this but knowing this make going through life a hard task ,I like the idea that we are here to learn ,to learn about love ,it seems like this to me but sometime even believe this is hard ,I keep going ,I want to be a good example ,I want to help people ,I want to make other people happy ,I feel that when someone reach my same conclusion and understand that  material goals we wish to attain are just temporary  what we got left ? I think loving each other in peace till the adventure is over is the most common sense goal.
Coming to Thailand was about exploring myself too ,going to Scotland for the next 1-2 years will give me more time to think and re-balance my emotions ,my life ,a balance I keep losing ,finding ,losing over and over again ,I’m 40 now ,no more procrastinating ,I claim my inner peace back ,this time permanently or at least long enough to look back one day and having no much regrets .
Before I left London to Bangkok I met one of my really good friends ,Psychic ,tarot reader ,I wanted to know what she could see into the cards regarding my future ,the hermit was the answer ,time of reflections ,time to spend alone ,time to change ,I went back home and in my email I received my daily tarot card ,guess what ? The hermit again ,it was right ,the journey I started turned out to be of big reflections ,a desire to be alone ,a desire for change ,2 months in Thailand are full of great memories all the people I met felt like more like teachers I needed to meet to learn something from ,I laughed ,I cried ,I want my childhood back ,my forcefulness, my innocence ,I want back the people that loved me and I pushed away ,it will not happen ,I’m 40 ,I learned so much from this short journey in this planet and I know I got much more to learn ,I don’t have the material things I wished ,I don’t have New Zealand ,I don’t have a girlfriend ,I don’t have a job ,I don’t have certainties ,but I have something important ,kindness ,understanding ,a desire to make this world better ,a desire to make people happy ,not easy task for a human being  ,I’m poor in the materialistic terms ,but becoming richer in the spiritual ,who would ever think I would even write something like this just few years ago ,I guess we all go through this sort of transformation at some point ,what I’m writing about is a subject so many people already wrote before ,and many writing and talking about right now ,there is nothing new in my search of answers ,inner peace ,love ,hopefully we will become more and more .
What I’m seeing after 2 months in Thailand and on the plane back to UK is a wonderful start ,the beginning of a beautiful inner transformation ,Gratitude is important ,I’m grateful for this new experience ,for the opportunity it gave me ,grateful for the people I met ,each of them  taught me something ,one of them I hope to meet again ,I’m sure might happen one day, Michael ,this American guy dressing as a Indian Yogi that looked like Tiziano Terzani ,I feel if I would have the chance to talk to him a bit longer I would learn important things but maybe was meant to be like this at the time ,a quick chat ,some Important information and then go ,we all gonna meet again ,if not in this life will be between this one and the next ,and then over and over again in the future reincarnations till the day we will be all one together in the light.

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