By Alessandro Carosi
Lessons are repeated till learned, till understood, in the last few days I reflected to some life circumstances that occurred in the past, to one in particular where involved was a girl from South Korea, I met her in New Zealand where I moved to live after I decided to take some time to think about my relationship with Kaori that meanwhile moved to Canada, Kaori was waiting for me to decide what to do but I was too busy fucking around then thinking about our relationship, then I met Julie that was in Auckland to reflect about her life after divorce from her husband, I messed around a lot at that time ruining many girls inner peace and life, then something happened, Julie left to go back to South Korea, all of a sudden I sort of realised that I wanted to be with her but was too late, I thought a lot about take some time off from work to fly to Seoul but couldn’t do it till life decided for me, it was during the rugby world cup that New Zealand hosted, my mother broke her hip and had an operation, I had to go back to Italy but for a week I wasn’t allowed to visit her in the hospital so I decided to take a break to relax and calm down, that was the chance to go to Seoul but something within me stopped me, I’m sure now that something compelled me to don’t go, to leave her alone, like something was in control, I chosen Thailand instead, I would regret it later.
Do you think I learned my lesson ? ……Noooooooo, some people soul are harder to break then others, I kept screwing up people lives till I screwed mine in New Zealand and kindly been kicked out of the country and that’s how I ended up in UK, do you think I learned it ? Noooooooooo……..till now, it took 6 more years.
As I said lessons are repeated till are learned, at least for me it is, I kept screwing up around but this time some girls screwed me too that was quite a good lesson but not enough until I met or I would say she found me……Kaori!!!! You might think is my ex girlfriend but isn’t, is an other Kaori, same name but same lesson to learn, I met her at my lowest point in relationships like when I met the first Kaori, she gave me what I missed so much, love, affection, kindness, relationship, but if, there is something missing within our soul nothing will last, no joy, no happiness, why ? Because you don’t have it within yourself in the first place so even if you end up having what you want, it won’t last cause eventually you will find something else that makes you unhappy, so here one of the lessons I needed to learn, after months unable to find a girlfriend at finally I met Kaori and all of a sudden wonderful, beautiful, sexy girls showed up in my life that wanted to be with me.
After the initial happiness and joy unhappiness and frustration took place cause what I was doing ? I was with a young girl, she was 23 yo I was 36 yo, she wasn’t beautiful even if she was beautiful within and I had those sexy girls wanted to be with me, plus all of a sudden again Julie started to show up everywhere, in my dreams telling me she was in love with me, in holiday in Italy I find out that just the day before she was in Rome, you can imagine my surprise and frustration to know I was only 2 hours away from my dream girl and I missed her again, she would be in France for the next few days, what to do ? what to do ? I decided to don’t go, it would cost me too much money to chase something that was maybe just a dream in my head so I decided to don’t go but then something popped up in my mind like a revelation, OMG!!! Everything was like in New Zealand, that month UK hosted the rugby world cup, I was In Italy, my mother was playing her part in the act, again I had to choose between going to seen her or not and again the world cup was on, how couldn’t be more obvious then that, I made the choice to go to Seoul, I had to see her, I had to meet her again, I needed to see her one more time, I quit my job and left to Seoul and then Thailand, in some way life presented the same life circumstances but in a different order.
Look at that comparing the two events:
Kaori was involved
I was fucking around meanwhile she was waiting for me
I met Julie, she left
My mother hip operation
I had to choose between go to South Korea or Thailand
I chosen Thailand
I met an Other Kaori
Julie was involved again through life circumstances set from something, someone, entity, who knows
I had to choose between South Korea or Thailand, I had only one month holiday, I went for a week in Seoul but my main choice was Thailand….see the pattern!!
I HAVE BEEN PRESENTED SIMILAR LIFE CIRCUMSTANCES!!! Not the same but similar otherwise it would be too obvious, it would be to easy to understand, all of this for one reason, To learn, to grow spiritually !!!
Life will repeat the same life lessons till you have no choice then to learn it.