By Alessandro Carosi
Today talking to a colleague at work he highlighted the fact that In the past I didn’t behave according to what I preach, he didn’t tell it in this way but the essence was that, he was right, I preach love all the time and I believe in what I preach but months ago I had a bad argument with a colleague at work where I found myself shouting and yelling for have been told off from her regarding to how I decided to set up the shop, I was wrong but at the same time I felt and I have to be honest I feel was the only way to don’t let the person take advantage of me, at least is what I thought would happen if I didn’t shout to her, it’s hard I’m honest, it’s hard trying to become a better person cause life is a jungle and we don’t know anymore who is the lion trying to eat us or the sheep trying to protect themselves acting like a lion.
Same thing happened in Malta visiting my brother where shouting and yelling for two weeks I tried to make him understand that was time to become a man now that he is a father.
It’s soo hard trying to be calm and peaceful all the time, yes at least I’m trying, I’m trying everyday to become the better version of myself but sometime I feel weak, powerless and to protect myself from real or perceived enemies I act like a lion with the purpose to protect myself, I don’t like it and my colleague was right telling me to be more understanding, patient and to use a more diplomatic attitude toward people that might be aggressive verbally to me, I agree with him and I’m sorry for how I acted against my colleague and my brother, many philosophers says “change the way you look at life and life will change” literally, love yourself and life will reflect it back, I like to believe it but sometime is hard to think it in this way.
All I can do is to acknowledge what happened, working within myself to change and learn to be a more lovable, diplomatic and calming person.